Why do I use this weird tapping thing in my relationship therapy?

If you’ve never encountered Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT), also known as Tapping, it might seem a little strange at first. Imagine meeting a new therapist, ready to dive into relationship challenges, and suddenly you’re being asked to tap on your head and face! It’s understandable that you might feel skeptical, embarrassed, or even a little freaked out.

But let me reassure you—there’s a solid, research-backed reason why I integrate EFT into my relationship therapy. In fact, there are several! Below, I’ll walk you through the scientifically validated benefits of EFT, borrowing from the six well-researched “pillars” outlined by David Feinstein, PhD, and adding a few of my own observations from years of practice.

1. It Works  

   The first peer-reviewed study of EFT was published in 2003, and since then, over 115 clinical trials have been conducted. Of these, 113 showed statistically significant evidence that EFT is effective. In fact, meta-analyses reveal that EFT is highly effective for anxiety, depression, and PTSD, often outperforming gold-standard therapies like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) in terms of effectiveness, longevity of results, and cost-efficiency.  

   Source: Feinstein, D. (2012). Acupoint stimulation in treating psychological disorders: Evidence of efficacy. Review of General Psychology, 16(4), 364–380.

2. It’s Fast 

   One of the most remarkable aspects of EFT is how quickly it works. Clinical trials show that clients often require fewer sessions to achieve significant results compared to traditional therapies. For example, individuals with PTSD frequently report symptom relief in fewer sessions than those undergoing CBT. This efficiency can be a game-changer for couples navigating complex relational dynamics.  

   Source: Church, D., & Brooks, A. J. (2014). The effect of EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) on psychological symptoms in healthcare workers: A randomized controlled trial. Energy Psychology: Theory, Research, and Treatment, 6(2), 23–30.

3. It Has Lasting Results  

   EFT doesn’t just provide temporary relief. Follow-up studies, sometimes conducted years after therapy, show that clients maintain their progress. This durability makes EFT a powerful tool for addressing deep-seated emotional and relational challenges.  

   Source: Stapleton, P., Bannatyne, A., Urzi, K. C., Porter, B., & Sheldon, T. (2016). Changes in the severity of food cravings and consumption following Emotional Freedom Techniques: A randomized controlled trial. Applied Psychology: Health and Well-Being, 8(3), 284–300.

And that is what good therapy is about … not needing therapy!

 

 

4. It’s Not Just Placebo  

   EFT’s effectiveness isn’t just subjective or imagined. Studies using functional MRI (fMRI) scans and saliva swabs have demonstrated measurable biological changes. For example, cortisol levels—a key stress hormone—drop significantly after tapping sessions, and brain activity in areas like the amygdala (responsible for fear and stress responses) shows calming effects.

5. It’s the Tapping  

   While EFT incorporates elements of CBT and exposure therapy, research shows that the physical act of tapping on acupressure points is the key ingredient. Tapping on “sham” points doesn’t produce the same results, underscoring the importance of targeting specific acupressure points.

6. It Changes Brain Activity  

   Empirical evidence from fMRI studies shows that tapping sends signals to the brain, activating or deactivating specific areas depending on the issue being addressed. This process helps calm the amygdala and reconstruct maladaptive neural circuits, paving the way for healthier emotional responses.

7. It’s Trauma-Sensitive  

   EFT is particularly effective for trauma, including relational trauma. It provides a safe, non-invasive way to explore and process difficult emotions, even before fully understanding the relational story. This makes it an invaluable tool for couples navigating past or present trauma.

8. It Has Borrowed Benefits  

   Dr. Peta Stapleton’s research highlights an incredible phenomenon: when groups tap together, cortisol levels drop even more significantly than in one-on-one sessions. This “borrowed benefit” effect is something I’ve observed in my own practice, where couples experience exponential calming effects when tapping together.  

   Source: Stapleton, P. (2019). The Science Behind Tapping: A Proven Stress Management Technique for the Mind and Body. Hay House.

9. It’s Safe and Accessible  

   One of the greatest advantages of EFT is its accessibility. Couples can continue using it at home, empowering them to maintain progress and build healthier patterns independently. This aligns with my ultimate goal as a therapist: to equip clients with tools that make therapy unnecessary in the long run.

10. It Empowers Clients  

    I’ve seen firsthand how tapping empowers clients to process their emotions and approach their relationships with clarity and confidence. It’s incredible to witness how quickly clients can process their hurt and reconnect with their partners, often leaving sessions feeling inspired and ready to take on the world.

11. It Calms to Allow Reconnection  

    Tapping has a calming effect that allows couples to have open, constructive conversations. Clients often share feedback like, “It was so nice to be able to talk about this without fighting—we’ve never been able to do that!” This calming impact fosters emotional safety and connection.

12. It Reprograms Communication  

    In therapy, we are literally reprogramming communication styles. This transformative process helps couples navigate challenges with empathy and understanding, creating a foundation for healthier, more fulfilling relationships.

 

If you’re curious about how EFT could transform your relationship, I invite you to book a free 15-minute consultation with me. Together, we can explore how this evidence-based technique can help you and your partner communicate better, heal past wounds, and build a stronger, more connected relationship.

Click here to book your free 15 minute consultation.

 

With appreciation to the following photographers ….

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